Turn back now! This is dark and scary!

So, lately, I've been working on some dark, sad poetry. Here it is, please read it, but don't be worried about me, this is my therapy.


Note; side A
The weight takes away my breath,
crushing my very existence,
destroying my fragile soul.
I stumble through the darkness,
groping for reality,
praying for redemption.
I struggle to face the world each day,
fearing people,
avoiding life.
I stand alone in the choking black,
screaming,
pleading.


Questions in the Void
Can you hear the screaming in my head?
Can you see the tears in my heart?
How hard have you listened?
How long have you looked?
Can you feel the pain of my emotions?
Can you see the void in my soul?
How much have you cared?
How serious is our love?

Note: Side b
I lay awake at night,
Dreaming of the moment,
I can lay next to you.
I long for your touch,
remembering the moments together,
I long for those times again.
I know I pushed you away,
when I needed you the most,
I can't bear to think of it.
I hate myself for the thoughts I have,
Late at night, alone in my room,
I confront my demons with each passing of dusk.


Untitled: some random one liners.
I pray no one hears me screaming.
I know no one hears me crying.
I fear someone knowing I care.

Making models wet...

SO, lately I have had a fascination with getting models wet.
I think there is something erotic and sensual about water and a woman. It might be the taboo of privacy associated with a shower, it might be the feeling of the purity of the water with a sexual overtone, whatever the reason, I enjoy the carnality of these images.





This image is Missy Vinyl, this image makes me think of someone washing away their sins. I have titled in "Cleanse".



















This image is also of Missy Vinyl, I love the ghost effect it creates. I have titled this piece "Sheer passion".
















This is model Missy Kohut, I love her willingness to try new things. This piece is titled "Salacious".

















This is Model Alkemie, she is my long distance muse. This piece is titled " Amatory".















This is model Melissa, she came to me off my website, because she loved my work. This piece is called "bde-chen".

I'm slacking

I know I'm slacking on here, but I have pictures to edit, pictures to take, and did I mention pictures to edit.

Here are some teasers from my shoot with the amazing Amaya Solace, she stopped over on the tail end of a trip, so it worked out good for me.

Taboo

Why is smoking so taboo these days?Just 30yrs ago it was common place, 30yrs before that is was sexy, classy and attractive, 30yrs before that, it was advertised as healthy. But now, smokers are cast aside, viewed as rejects of society. Shunned outside in the cold... but wait, when they need to raise some tax money, or just want more tax money, who do they turn to first. Thats right the dirty filthy smokers. so, we're shunned until they need money.
Well, I for one, smoke and am proud. Am I an addict? Yes, I need my nicotine, somedays I need it more than food. Do I wan to quit? Nope, like I said, I'm a smoker and proud. Do I know it is bad for me? Duh! But a better question to ask me is do I care? Because I don't, I just enjoy it for now.

Here are some sexy smoking pictures.

So much to do, so little time

Why can't there be 48 hours in a day? I am swamped in editing, it feels like a mountain, I might never climb out of. So, I come home from work everyday and sit in front of my computer, editing, IMing, emailing, doing everything I can to keep up, but it just never seems to stop. I feel overwhelmed some days, but at the same time I ask myself, would I rather be busy and know people want to work with me, or would I rather struggle to get a shoot, hoping I can find a person or two to work with me.

Here are some piuctures from my recent shoot with Orsolya, she was alor of fun. Kept the shoot light, we laughed and enjoyed it. She approached me about shooting, I don't know if she will continue to work with me or if she will work with others, but I know this shoot went very well.

Feeling in a rut and then dug out!

So, I was feeling uninspired recently. Feeling like whatever I do is cliche, weak and just kind of boring. I would dread going to photoshoots, I would dread editing the pictures and I just felt like I was wasting time going nowhere, just taking the same type of picture over and over, with nothing creative, nothing original and no spark. I couldn't figure out what to do, I several times thought of setting down my camera, no time limit, just taking a break.

But then my eyes opened up, I started looking at the world in a new light. I stressed to get a picture of that world. With the vivid colors, the deep emotion, the painstaking story behind each image. Hence the project Hotel Gothic was born. I think it is a blending of my style, with a new edge to it.

Hiatus or Quit?

I'm confused.

I'm putting down my camera, I'm just not sure for how long...

After December 8th, I will be finishing out all of my commitments for the yr, then I'll be on a professional hiatus, not entirely sure when I will pick up my camera, if ever. I'm feeling like I am simply playing with a camera lately, not truly creating anything worth looking at. Certinly not creating anything I can make a serious living at.

This image is of the amazing Angela, AKA Gumby. She is a model of truly unknown potential. She can hold damn near any pose, she enjoys having fun in front of the camera and is always interested in what you are doing because she is an aspiring photographer.